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Monday
Mar052012

Balance

The past couple weeks, I decided to take a mini break from blogging.  I have been desperate to find some balance in my life, so I decided to cut everything extra out and focus on the “musts”.

Sometimes I feel like my life has been a whirl-wind of events with no time for adjustment. I still don’t know if I have found the perfect balance between all my hats, but I’m getting closer. 

There have been days I am so overwhelmed that I am left feeling paralyzed, even packing a diaper bag feels like an impossible task.  Then, I find myself frustrated if I am not constantly double tasking to check items off my to-do list and annoyed at any request for chill time.  I’m always listening to books like Making Ideas Happen and Good to Great to try to make myself better while sorting the laundry or squeezing in all the errands on my days off.  

My brain is never silent. 

During my time of rest, I have come to understand my expectations of myself are far too great, which leaves me feeling like a failure every time I do not succeed in my idealized view of life. 

I have begun to realize:

A.  Even with this pace, I’m not getting where I want to be.

B.  This way of life is not sustainable.

C.  There is no benefit to living this way.

Thus, I am starting the process of learning to let things go and focus on what really matters.  I don’t know a perfect formula to finding balance, but what I do know is the more I spend time investing in prayer and following in obedience to Christ, the closer I get to living a life of beauty.  Although I tend to get sidetracked, I know what God really wants is my heart.  I feel like over the past couple weeks, I have come to a point where I am finally ready and willing to sacrifice whatever in order for Him to truly have all of me.

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